Saturday, August 31, 2013


Last night I think I discovered the origin of the whole "attachment parenting" idea.  You know, baby-wearing and co-sleeping.  Want to know my theory about how it came about?

It was a spider.

Yep.  I discovered this last night when we had our own uninvited guest.  I was walking through the living room and almost stepped on a ginormous spider.  I'm not kidding you when I say that for a moment I thought there was a tarantula in our house.  It was huge.  I nearly stepped on it, then shrieked, "Is that a SPIDER?! Oh my GAAAAAHHHD!!!!"  No, I never use the Lord's name in vain - that's how freaked out I was.  Sam, being the practical, non-arachnophobic man that he is, said, "Don't say that," and calmly went to get a tissue to kill the beast.  As he walked away, the spider sprinted across the room, right past the activity mat that Ellery loves laying on, and under the couch.  I screamed more, and Sam calmly lifted the couch and caught the giant demon.

This was when I discovered I may have a slight case of arachnophobia.  I was panicked.  I know he killed the spider, but I couldn't help feeling like there were spiders crawling all over me.  I refused to walk into the living room again, convinced that there were spiders covering the floor.

Our friends think the spider was a "giant house spider", often found in the PNW.  A quick google search will tell you that this spider held the Guinness book of records for it's speed.  Does that freak you out at all?  That's how you know I'm not lying when I say this spider sprinted across the room.  Fastest moving spider I've ever seen, which makes sense since it's legs were five inches long.

So okay, we finally calmed the baby down enough to go to sleep, and I finally exhausted myself enough to be able to go to sleep (after a thorough search of our bed to ensure that none of his friends were there lurking), and a few hours later, baby wakes up to eat.  I'm so terrified of stepping on the floor in the dark, that I bring baby back to bed with me to nurse her there, and leave her in bed with us.  There was no way I was going to get out of bed in the dark again.  Oh, and I forgot to mention that it appeared the spider came out of her room, which meant I was not going in her room, let alone leaving her alone in there.  That's why I think the idea of co-sleeping came from a spider - it was a mom who was too terrified of encountering a huge spider in the dark, so she had baby sleep in bed with her.

I have no idea when I'll feel okay with putting Ellery on her activity mat on the floor again.  Today I put it on our king-sized bed so she could still lay on it and play.  But I'm pretty sure that's where the baby-wearing idea came from, too - someone who didn't want their baby on the floor ever, so they carried the baby everywhere.  Thanks a lot, stupid spiders.

Today I purchased some peppermint essential oil, after learning that spiders hate peppermint, and it's a safe, nontoxic way to keep them away.  But how much peppermint oil will it take to drench our entire house in it?

I hate spiders.  And I may or may not have told Sam that I want to move out of this house because of that spider.  And no, I do not think that is irrational.  You would've done the same.

P.S. Sorry for no photos to accompany this post.  But trust me, you would not want to see a picture of this spider, or you'd be shivering all night, convinced you had a spider on you.  You're welcome.

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