Isn't that funny, when you remember something that used to work for you and try it again, and it still works? And you think to yourself, why did I ever stop doing this? That's how good habits are for me. Specifically, eating healthy, exercising, budgeting our finances, and waking up early to read my Bible. I feel so great when I maintain these habits, but I really have to work at them. And I can miss one day, and then it's over. It's terrible that bad habits are incredibly hard to break, and good habits are incredibly easy to break. From now on, lavender for life. By the way, I also used lavender on myself last night since I've been having a hard time falling back to sleep whenever I wake up in the middle of the night. It typically takes me two or three hours to fall back to sleep, so I really haven't been sleeping much at all. But I slept all night last night! Thank you, lavender. Also, thank you, Jesus.
But I should probably talk about the actual subject of my writing for the month - living in the present. Today I was reminded of a time when I felt left out. It happened in the past, and yet I still found myself growing increasingly upset as I remembered it. But why should something that happened in the past rob me of joy today? It doesn't seem fair that an incident would ruin my day when it happened, and then again when I remember it.
I decided that part of this experiment of fully embracing the present will include feeling things as they happen. I don't want to brush things aside anymore, or try to swallow any hurts. When those hurts resurface, I hurt all over again. It's like covering a wound with a band-aid, and then picking the scab over and over, just to watch it bleed. Why prolong the healing? Why add extra pain? Doesn't it make more sense to accept things as they happen, deal with them as best I can, and then move on?
So that was the unexpected lesson I learned today. And here's to hoping I actually remember to do this, like I now remember to use lavender oil to help me and my daughter sleep better.
And since this month will be all about savoring each moment, I thought I'd list the moments that I savored today. When we were about halfway through our walk this morning, Ellery decided that strollers are for chumps and immediately started demanding to be let down. So we spent the last half of our walk with her running happily beside me, holding two stuffed animals and a doll, while I pushed an empty stroller. Later I took her to a little farm with fun harvest activities for kids. She got to ride a little train, see some goats and cows, and climb on hay. She was in heaven. And my favorite moment was after I read Ellery her bedtime stories and asked her if she wanted Daddy to rock her to sleep. She took her paci out of her mouth, said "Daddy," and then snuggled into him when I placed her in his arms. I'm glad they have each other, Sam and Ellery. I've disappointed Sam with the fact that I'm not much of a snuggler, but that little girl more than makes up for it. And she melts her daddy's heart every day. And seeing them together melts this mama's heart.